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Arielle Giusto

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Arielle Giusto

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if it's not a yes it's a no

July 24, 2015 Arielle Giusto

Sometimes I feel like my mind is a sieve. I meet new neighbors, turn around and instantly forget their names. I visit a town and couldn't tell you which way was north, nevermind which direction we came from. But god damn and thank my lucky stars if I didn't hold on tight to the single best piece of advice uttered to me by anyone, anywhere, ever.

My stepfather Steve and I were grilling ribeyes and drinking too much red wine, when we started talking about my string of less than successful relationships. I told him I had made up my mind: I would never live with another man again unless he was the man I was going to marry. Steve looked at me with that look he has where you're sure he sees right through you and into the nether regions of your soul and said:

"It's very simple Arielle. If it's not a YES it's a NO."

Holy crap. It's so straightforward it becomes almost painful. In a way it's like the design world; the simpler the design the more complicated it is to execute. Except this is real life. This is hormones and mixed messages and loneliness and a whole load of other crap that we pile on top of things to justify staying in or pursuing a bad relationship. And now, at age 28 someone is telling me none of that matters? It was the perfect time to hear it. It was damn near an epiphany.

Scene from our fateful second date when Nick asked me if I'd ever seen the "tugboats" before. He wasn't kidding, there were actual tug boats, but there was also a ridiculously picturesque spot for a first kiss.

Scene from our fateful second date when Nick asked me if I'd ever seen the "tugboats" before. He wasn't kidding, there were actual tug boats, but there was also a ridiculously picturesque spot for a first kiss.

stripes and smiles and all that good stuff

stripes and smiles and all that good stuff

When Nick and I finally came together, after having met years before, in an instant I was Newton and an apple fell on my head making everything clear. Steve was right. He does actually get paid for this in real life as a psychologist, but he analyzes me for free (you can imagine how that went over in my teenage years). Now, in honor of our upcoming one year wedding anniversary, I wanted to share this little tidbit that just might save your life like it did mine.

 

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